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Hotel Messerschmitt

by BAAN

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1.
From Andromeda 06:26
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[garbled incoming transmission] -hyperbolic trajectory -abrupt delta-v -inertia -spectroscopic analysis -reflected sunlight -irregular patterns -light curve analysis -energy signature -intergalactic origin -Kardashev Type III -plane of motion -Andromeda We travelled from Andromeda Now power down the drive Decelerating energy How many of us have survived? We’re falling to the planet They call it planet Earth We’ve worshipped her for hundreds of years Now we’ll find out what she’s worth Oceans, plains and forests filled with life Salt water in liquid form Free nitrogen and oxygen, just floating there In an atmosphere that’s warm We can tolerate her day and night Shallow tides, in the habitable zone A benign and stable yellow star It’s a paradise we can call home
2.
Hotel Messerschmitt 05:38
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Welcome to your holidays You worked hard all year, you had to save For these few pleasant days I would never lie to you The winter was tough but we made it through Just knowing that you were still willing to pay We got the place looking really fine We got a new hot pool, the food is divine Me and Abby, we were thinking this time you might stay [You what?] You can almost the see the ocean The staff got great devotion I always get the weather Everybody loves it ‘round here My soul feels very near As long as we’re together Tomorrow on the Me’n’You Abby makes her famous stew And you can go beachcombing! You could spend a million days Waiting for the sun And you could spend a million more Sinking to the core It’s a wonder They don’t plunder Us and murder Everyone! Saving for the day When we can get away The funny things we always say Where will we eat? Where’s the toilets? Where’s my passport? Who’s got lotion? Send a postcard Home from Heaven Here we are in first class The cabins are just dreamy I’m looking through a broken glass She said she’d never leave me But if what they told me is true She signed up with the cabin crew Her body was all wrapped in pain She giggled when the Captain came
3.
Liar 03:41
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There’s a liar in the sun Got you on the run Makes money from your children You hope that Jesus comes And on that blessed day You won’t have to pay All the bills you gotta pay Oh Lord, please make it all just go away I never meant for things to go this far Baby, I’m going for a drive, I gotta crash this car Lie Uncle Tommy’s got the perfect introduction To the wizards of bespoke cool production From the very eastern shores I’m sure you read about them all before The Artisans of Mashamba Digging deep in Katanga Well, slaves who die in cobalt mines Needn’t be there all the time That’s a choice their kiddies make Drinking blood to bring you cake Sweating money, the hole is black Send the blue to China, then buy the whole thing back Liar
4.
The Eventual 03:31
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I been living on the edge of town And I gotta go deeper, deeper down I’m just a creeper and I’m creeping around On the edge of town The edge of town I don’t know if you can hear me now You gotta come and save me, but I don’t know how I got the money in a big blue case I’m by the old school, you know the place That’s right! When an old man dies It’s no surprise There’s pennies on his eyes No matter how many lines I sing It’s still the end of everything Only hurts for an hour or two The pain barrier I’m going through Maybe the future doesn’t burn Maybe the blood forgets to yearn I’ll be the joker in that house of hearts I’ll win the game before the rest of you start All the people I have ever known Into the fabric of the world are sewn They call my name from the cinnamon tree Back to the front, now they’re shooting at me Every night when I go to bed My dreams are black and murdering red Sweep it all away with a flick of my hand All the armies of the world at my command My command You’re bleeding out on the battlefield Used to be King, now how does it feel? A billionaire in the frigid air Of a skyliner, you take it everywhere Spewing out poison all over the sky You don’t give a fuck if everybody dies I got a headstone, the name is free Someone might be missing, but it won’t be me I was the static on your television The man in black, I don’t need your permission I was the grey in number fifty one I fell to earth from the core of your sun What’s it like to be so frightened To fear the dark, be unenlightened You don’t believe in what you haven’t seen Until they put a big picture in a magazine And then you believe! [No, no, no, no, no. That’s not how it works!]
5.
The Valley of Peaceful Fear 04:15
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[There’s just some things you’ve gotta do for yourself] [I think it’s really important] [Save yourself] I got the salmonella I got the fridgidella I got the Sam and Ella I got the frickadella I got the Manadella I got the fungadella Why does the cheese remain? Where do they get those names? All I can see from here The valley of peaceful fear Why do you complicate Everything that you hate? What is beyond the last gate? How did we get to this sorry looking place? What is that look you keep sticking to your face? Why do you speak with such lack of honest grace? It’s a God-damned lie You can see the surprise In a dead man’s eyes He tells no tales No tears and veils Spirit flutters and quails Now I’m a big ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- cheese You’re down on your na-na-na-na-na- knees I laugh while you fr-fr-fr-fr-fr- freeze You’ll never get anywhere looking like that You were dragged up by the worst kinda cat You’re looking so thin it’s the new kinda fat
6.
Hold On Baby Girl 02:58
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Hold on baby girl I ain’t talking ‘bout the fate of the world I’m lost in your blue eyes What you see, it’s a God surprise Nobody knows how the trick is done Nobody knows why the hours they run So Hold on baby girl Hold on baby Hold on baby girl Hold on baby Hold on tight to the merry-go-round One day you’re up, the next day down You can be certain nothing will remain Of the merry-go-round or the cool summer rain No-one ever became Queen of the Moon By staying the same You gotta keep moving If you stand still And you don’t take it The bitches will One day you’ll be just like me Lighting your candle by the cinnamon tree Looking for love in the great beyond You may think I’m dead and gone No baby girl, I see right through The veils of time And I’m there with you Standing just in the shadows there Tears in my eyes at the white in your hair Hold on baby girl Hold on baby Hold on my baby girl Hold on baby Hold on my baby girl Hold on baby Hold on baby girl
7.
There's No Shame 05:56
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Baby, you feel so fine When I’m in your head Baby, I feel so divine When I’m in your bed Maybe, it feels too good Looking through your eyes Crazy, if only you would Do it ‘till I die There’s no shame If no-one remembers your name Your world is a broken cup And maybe it’s time to give it up, and give it up, and give it up Because sometimes, the world is Coming over you Sometimes, the word is Overcome the blue Sometimes, the pain is Carried deep within Sometimes, the rain Drips like a hooker’s chin Your name, stitched on Everybody’s lips Your fame, twitched on Everybody’s hips Your game, played by Everybody’s child Your flames, driving Everybody wild But there’s no shame If they all know your name Your world is an overflowing cup Maybe it’s time to take it up, live it up, shake it up Because no shame If they all know your name Your world is an overflowing cup Maybe it’s time to take it up, and live it up, and shake it up
8.
Corridors Aflame 04:28
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This descending frame The very embodiment of shame Dropping to corridors aflame There’s Santa Dog the Jesus freak Stuck down here for most of the week That big bad boy is too far gone to even speak Reverend Jones is on the phone He fell here too and he’s very alone Calls his buddy, “Can you throw me a bone? “They got me pushing mounds of cinnamon It’s not as though I was a sinner, man Maybe I was fatter than a thinner man But that’s no sin! Help me get back in!” Don’t cry baby You can’t save me No-one made me be this way Now I’m here to stay Sincerely, from me to you Here’s the very thing I want you to do We meet, like little angel doves We fall in love It’s a gift from above And the ones who had it before us They ain’t asking for it back What use is love to lovers in the infinite black? And still it hasn’t burned, it’s like a diamond in the flames And we can just pretend it’s ours, erase their names
9.
The Lawyer and the Partisan 05:54
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Later on, the lawyer spoke to the headsman, paid him what he was due Made a few adjustments to the scaffold Tightened up a few loose screws. Sharpened the blade The one the blacksmith made In the forge the lawyers cousin financed Oh, yes, everyone owed somebody something in Messerschmidt The whole place might rhyme with the smell of shit But at least it was good, honest capitalist shit And the fucking partisan would find out in the morning He should have listened to his mothers warning But idiots and billionaires They never listen The first because he doesn’t know how And the second because no-one makes him Except the lawyers Always the fucking lawyers Ah, the lawyer breathed well that day Took his ease in the usual way Brought down the enemy at sunrise There was no sin attached to the deed Everybody has to die Except the lawyer The lawyer always wins Even death needs his lawyer Son of a gun picked me up at the border He wouldn’t believe I was the Agent of a higher order I had the boss man, boss man dying on the line Bleeding out on my Alligator Shoes, but I was feelin’ fine I never saw nothin’, I never even saw you there Hangin’ out kissing the girl wae the flaming red-red hair I cannot feel my legs, I cannot see my hands Please God don’t let me die in this God forsaken land Save yourself! Just save yourself Don’t worry ‘bout me I’m going home The lawyer said to the doctor, I’ll be there soon He said to the taxi driver, the dark side of the Moon Said the taxi driver to the lawyer, there’s no dark side Even worse than that, the whole fucking thing is hollow inside
10.
The Tattooed Man 04:28
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There’s a tattooed man Says he knows God’s plan You can see the plan Written by His hand With blood and charcoal Jesus pricked his skin Drawing humanity a map to the way back in Simply mutter the catechism under your tongue Then scream it out loud enough to burst your lungs And if you do it with enough conviction You will be convicted If you speak it false my baby Your soul will be evicted Came back to life in the wrong place In the mirror I see my devil face He put himself in the picture Moved to the edge of the frame Reached out his arms and pulled himself into my living room Pretended he was lame And when I asked him for the mighty wisdom Words and pictures, straight from the Kingdom His skin was blank and fair There were no pictures there Came back to life in the wrong place In the mirror I see some other face I hear the breaking waves Dead rising from their graves No school required my boy Life filled with endless joy This can’t be happening to me Escaped my prison but I can’t believe Millions of souls I see Trapped in demon woven tapestries Came back to life in the wrong place In the mirror I still see that face This life is just a dream Much less than what it seems Look out your favourite window That’s more or less where we go
11.
Crater Paradiso 04:46
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I remember when I was a boy You could still see craters in the ground Just 20 years before where the bombs fell down All the old folks talking ‘bout the good old days How they changed the whole world All the soldiers went away And we’d never go to war again All King Arthur’s men Doing battle by the pen Writing letters to the Sun On how the war was won Are you OK UK? The European lords and ladies went astray You lost your way to paradise They ain’t nice the things you say You’re sending all the good people away You seem a bit dim You’re getting too slim Are the rations running out? Your passions less devout You seem a little shaky on your feet Did the achy breaky wake up turn up the heat? Is anybody still watching Coronation Street Elsie Tanner’s got a banner on a protest greet-up All you wanna do is stick the telly on and put your feet up But everyone’s an idiot and those who ain’t Don’t wanna meet up They say it’s very nice This time of year in paradise It never gets too hot For all the coolers that they got It’s all so well thought through They made it just for you You got a buddy maybe it’s for two Yeah, bring a friend Bring a friend on whom you can depend Paradise is open for business every single weekend Why does it always feel like we’ve been here before Up and down the Royal Mile knocking on the false King’s door He didn’t swear to us Not very generous Making the populous sweat He’s got his money in a puddle you can bet He husny lost a farthing yet His mammy was a one woman foreign debt They took us round their yacht They never gave a thought To all the sorry bodies crammed beneath the water line As long as all the Royal pricks on deck are fine No life of privilege deserves such privilege No Malcom Muggeridge no Mary Whitehouse on your fridge Just appalling goat fuckers behind the iron doors They keep us well away but if you listen carefully You’ll hear the sound of Satan locking up the public policy He’s got the only key
12.
Uncle Tommy's Great Design 04:05
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Where is Joe? Where did he go? The probable probability is probably improbable. The provably unprovable is unprovably probable. The conceptually conceptualised is conceptionally conceptual. Destructive deconstruction is constructively constructive. To understand understanding requires understanding understanding. A conscious consciousness is conscious of consciousness. A tautological tautology is tautologically logical. A tautological logicality is tautologically illogical. An illogical tautology is tautologically logical. A focal locus is locally focussed, unlike a locally focussed locus. A resounding resumption rebounds with assumption. An assuming assumption assumes no resumption. A reflected reflection reflects all reflections. A mirrored mirror mirrors all mirrors. A mystical mystic is mystically mysterious. A clerical cleric bureaucratically bound. A deflated inflation deflates the inflated. We can’t find Joe. Fantastical fantasies fantasise about fantasy. A romantic romance is romantic by chance. The statistical stats of statisticians in hats, owning cats Is equal to the sequel of the sum of the thumbs they keep toasted in corporation vats. Ha! The statistical probability of probable statistics is probably the problem of statistical mystics. Resoundingly pounding a pound that you found will result in the pounding rebounding. His clinical majesty is cynically, tragically bound to impound All felons with mellons who currently use currency they abuse. I had a stint at the mint, with a fellow called Clint. With all that I ought to be taught he was fraught with the thought that I might whilst out of his sight take fright and then flight, Myself to a realm at the helm and overwhelm the seasons of reason, Where all decorous pendulous unctuous and wondrous, Compunctions of functions, the ablations of nations! I see you Joe. The latest sample has refused to conform to the calculations performed at the appropriate forms and in the dorms the corns are rising like tides of the adorned. I pulled the sun with a hanky to my pocket I’d only begun because you had that nice locket With the picture of Sammy and the one that Joe took Don’t you remember you had it in that little book The one he gave you when he started to say That he was sorry for everything and being away When the baby was tragically, ultimately born Into a world where the innocent cannot be kept warm Encouraging signs, not discouraged by minds Inclined to be blind And greased up by time I’m about to define The great design
13.
The Gatekeeper 01:55
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14.
Fire From The Sky 04:21
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We’re on the downward spiral Ma buddy going viral For writing with a Biro On a pyramid in Cairo The universe inflatable Has become debatable Well, I think I’m still available But my work is pure unscalable So, report the latest story If you’re looking for glory Put yourself in my bones, ha ha! Yesterday painted your house blue Charity, ain’t in your purview Mother moon, conquest by Purdue Fire from the sky Fire from the sky Take it from me There’s nothing to see I’m not the enemy I’m just me He’s no a racist but You’re doing in his fuckin’ nut Every day it’s an ethnicity quiz But he’s the same fuckin’ colour as everybody is They used to call us benders Now gender’s in the blender We canny keep our preferences aligned with the agenda And the merciless sun came to Lahaina town They brought the fire raining from the satellite down
15.
Drown 05:54
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If you lose yourself in the water You might drown in your own tears If you fly too high, find yourself in the sky You become the sum of all your fears It’s too hard, the ground is too hard Frost has driven a spike through your heart There is no love, nothing above looking down Cry an ocean and then drown Just drown And when you cannot breathe You spend a long time dreaming It’s easy to believe There’s a Kingdom gleaming In the hidden deepening Neptune’s Golden City And all your secrets lie there sleeping Here they come, it won’t be pretty Things you missed when you were young Flick of the wrist, slip of the tongue Some carried you, some of them died You knew them too, that’s why you cried Nature red in beast and man Hatred disgust part of the plan Here’s a window straight to Hell Why not defenestrate yourself Jump right in! As you fall from heaven’s grace You fall through time you fall through place And then you’re back again Beside the tenement A field of daffodils runs By the river under suns You haven’t seen for sixty years A child, his face all streaked with tears He’s covered in coal dust Did all the things he was told he must Only three years old Digging in the dirt for gold And all he found In that cold ground Broken shards of steel Rusted, were they even real?
16.
Eternity Burns 05:32
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You got something that you want to ask Please come in closer, tell me of your task I don’t hear too well these days And I can barely see your face Oh, such a pretty face too I’d hate to miss out on meeting you I heard about you from the nurses They say you’re suffering from the worstest o’curses Nothing comes easy, nothing comes free You be the hunter, I’ll be the beast Nothing goes easy, nothing returns If you live forever, eternity burns I know the one you seek in vain I know a little of your pain Many years ago I was just like you I can tell you what you’ll have to do Somewhere very close to all that you hold dear The beast has made his home, keeps all his treasures near Images of everyone you ever knew He wants to get inside the deepest parts of you Nothing comes easy, nothing comes free You be the hunter, I’ll be the key Nothing goes easy, nothing returns If you live forever, eternity burns The path has led you here, it must be fate To stand so certain before the Demon Gate I know what it is you want me to say That there has to be an easier way, ha ha ha ha! To kill a demon eternal and strong My sweetest peril, that’s where you’ve gone wrong Yes, once I was an angel, but I trod the path of sorrow My punishment is to destroy all your tomorrows

about

Recorded and produced by Peri Urban in East Lothian during September 2022 and September and October 2023. All songs written by Frappa and Largy Baan.

Executive production by Tim McGraw.
Thanks to Mike Cobley and Chris Sherren for mix advice, and to Bobby Gillies for temporal administration of the conceptual continuum.

This album is configured as a four-tracks-per-side double vinyl LP. Such an object does not yet exist.

credits

released October 10, 2023

Largy Baan - lead vocals.
Frappa - guitars.
DD Strang - bass guitar.
Henrik Peter - drums, drum loops.
Peri Urban - sequences on “The Lawyer And The Partisan”; mbira (thumb piano) on Hold On Baby Girl.
Paul “Nowhere” Buyers - character vocals on “Welcome To Your Holidays” and “Uncle Tommy’s Great Design”.
Harvey Alexander - additional vocals
Calum McCallum - additional vocals.

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Peri Urban UK

Like all musicians I wished I had the same number of limbs as an octopus. My wish was granted, but not in the way I had hoped for. My cephalopod partner is an enthusiastic volunteer from the worldwide animal charity Save Humans From Themselves. We share a special kind of love. ... more

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